-
“You sure you’re not somebody important?
Some kind of dog lawyer or something?”“I ain’t passed the BARK,
but I know Kibbles & Bits,
so I won’t fall for that old ‘Who’s a good boy?’ shit…”(99 Problems For Dogs)
-
I am the one who says things about me about as a person! Not this! (Clicks Reblog)
(Source: dcpierson)
-
The mullet, whitewashed jeans, tucked in t-shirt and grimy tote bag say 1988-1994. But that phone is 1999-2002 vintage. Maybe this guy just loves hideous objects from the recent past, and this is a current photo! How great would that be?ultimate mullet
-
Twitternote: If you follow 2000 people, if you follow more people than follow you…I will not follow you back. We use Twitter in different ways, okay? That is all.
-
Some Word Association
DC Pierson is an easy person, but he sees through the bullshit, man.“Hey, what does the word ‘impulsive’ mean to you?”
“‘Selfish and irresponsible.’”
“Okay. What about the phrase ‘I want this?’ What do you think that means?”
“Huh, I think…I think ‘I want this’ also means ‘I deserve this.’”
“Great, and who are you again?”
“Oh, me? I’m everyone your age, apparently.”
“Great, thanks for talking to me.”
“My pleasure. By which I mean, the most important thing in the world.”
-
See, that’s the difference between men and women.
Women prefer your traditional firearms, the pump-action shotgun, or pearl handled revolver…
Lethal, but domestic. Almost family-friendly.Am I right, LADIES?
While the guys are over here going
“Gimme a Predator drone with the laser-guided RPG missile launcher…that’ll blow this bunker up from the inside out!”FELLAS? You’re with me, right? We can’t get enough!
There’s just no denying it.
Men! Women! Face the facts:
There ARE differences between us!
-Hack comic in a weird imaginary gun-centric society
-
Sex dungeon? That nefarious lair in the basement was supposed to be a STYX dungeon! Dammit! No wonder those Styx band member dickholes managed to escape…AGAIN.
(Shakes fist in terrible rage)
I’LL GET YOU RENEGADES IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO! -
I’m glad the internet has made it so easy for people to express themselves. Self-expression is, as a rule, a good thing for humanity.
Unfortunately the tantalizing power to respond immediately with a slap (or a suck up) has been handed to millions (of idiots) in the form of an unfollow, star, RT…THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! AND SOOOO LAST MONTH! BUT I’M SO ANGRY I COULD BLOG ABOUT IT!
How DARE you, WetStream—if that is your real name—tell the indigenous peoples of the Internet that it’s ever a bad idea to suck a dick? You’re not our father, and you don’t pay our bills probably! Don’t fucking tell us what to do! We can suck ANY and ALL dicks we want to, whenever we want to, IN THE ASS! WITHOUT A CONDOM! (Call me.)
You think Picasso got successful by not sucking somebody’s dick? WRONG. He once sucked like 18 dicks at the same time and tweeted about it FROM THE FUTUREPAST. But enough about impossible scenarios! Picasso’s funny, insightful tweet was retweeted by MILLIONS of imaginary people and spent a record sixteen years on the Favstar Leaderboard in this riveting story I’ve just made up about Picasso. The gentle notification chime of Favstar mentions regularly emanating from Picasso’s iPhone were like invisible bowls of chicken soup for his dick’s soul. It was this heavy flow of Internet validation that helped him conquer difficult periods of artistic constipation, otherwise known as marriage.
So yeah…suck dicks, don’t get married, BE A SUCCESS!
-
(Source: assembletheways)
